THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even the prime rib in the ice cave;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that a Big Green Egg would soon would be there;

Mojo & Oscar were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of dog cookies danced in her heads;

And Ms. Goofy in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up on the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a UPS truck, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a burly young driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Nick the UPS man.

More rapid than the Post Office his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and cursed them by name;

"Now, Dasher! dammit, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Come on stupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to ring the bell!

Now run away! dash away! dash away all!"

My apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.